The reason......

We had 3 amazing kiddos, good jobs, an easy and smooth life–we didn’t need another child to mess up what was so “good.” Our world, money, vacations, clothing was the the king of our home. We made the choice of a vasectomy when our youngest was only 8 weeks old………after all, it was the “right thing to do.” Two years later, we had a new King in our home; one who was exposing what was not so “right” and so “good” about our home. Through tears and prayer we regretted our hasty decision to take away whatever other blessings God had for us and our children. We were still new at this and thought that we could do it our way. We did the first “sensible” thing and traveled to Oklahoma, to one of the best reversal doctors in America, spent our savings, made things “right.” Now we would be able to calm this ache that God was stirring in our hearts for more children–right? It didn’t work…….all of the facts and the prognosis and the tears were for nothing. Why did our little family feel so strongly that someday there would be another child if my husband and I could not bear more? Through the guidance of a friend, adoption and foster care were suggested. We balked. How could we do this? What would it mean for our “easy” life? With much trepidation we stepped forward into unknown waters to meet our Lord where He wanted us to be…..finally. It took 2 years to get our license to foster–with many hurdles, tears and doubts along the way. We were told we would never receive an infant–they were “hard to come by.” Four weeks after being licensed we got the call. A baby girl was in need and we were the only home they could place her in–she needed a stay at home mom. She was 4 days old, she cried up to 20 hours a day, she was in the throes of withdrawal and was oh so tiny. Did we want her?  Our motives were selfish, our care was not for the "orphan" but rather for a child of our own, but we knew in that instant that was what God had put that ache there for, this is why we had a longing for another child, this little baby needed us…………….we needed her.  .“Tiny” came into our home last November and has never left. She is our daughter. We have seen that God is good–our children have seen God’s goodness and love in a situation that hasn’t always made sense. We wanted a child by birth into our family….God had other plans. If we could have had it the way we planned it, if it had happened the way we “wanted” it to, we would have missed out on this. We would never have known our daughter…….